A rant against romance
As a teen I loved… LOVED Mills and Boons. All that romance, passion, love and of course, for the more hormonal side of me – Coitus, as Sheldon Cooper refers to it. Recently, one of my friends dropped off a whole bag of Mills and Boons and as I sat reading all of them I couldn’t help but notice how alike all of them were. So I took a pen and a book and vented out my frustration. And I will rewrite my musings for you.
Because I’m awesome, I’m going to rant FOR and AGAINST Mill and Boons.
“Ah! Mills and Boons! Who doesn’t love them? Or rather used to love them. I mean come on! You’ve read one book, you’ve read them all!
Mill and Boons have always been associated with love, lust, passion, seducement… And perfection. Every Mills and Boon character is perfect. At least their outward appearances are. But come on! Seriously? There’s no such thing as perfect. And all married women know that. Okay a small correction… All unmarried women who are out of their teenage dream zone also know that. But what about us teenagers who are easily influenced? I’ve been reading mills and boons since sixth grade and now I know you’re thinking about how irresponsible of my parents were to allow me to read and stuff but in their defense, I read them on the sly. And if it makes you feel any better mom did lock all her books once she found out.
Until recently, as a sixteen year old, I used to look around trying to find the perfect guy until one day it just hit me. I was searching for my perfect Mills and Boons guy who does not exist!
But really M&B authors… Why don’t you make your character a wee bit more realistic? Because you know what? All women do not have slender legs that never end or that perfect hourglass figure or that itty bitty waist. All women do not have tight little bottoms and really firm breasts and honestly… No one has that really flawless skin without even one single blemish or freckle. Okay… Maybe movie stars and models don’t, but that’s about it!
And puh-leez! Why, oh why are your guys well over six feet? You do know short guys exist. And why do all your guys have to be stinking rich or have to be Sheikhs or Cops/ Army guys/ Snipers with wounds?
But of course, after a few hours of musing and sighing I’ve come to the conclusion that if Mills and Boons did not contain fluffy stuff with guys and gals being flawless, then there wouldn’t be any M&B at all. Plus, I’ve realized that M&B is for those who need a little fairytale magic in their lives and heaven help us, so do we.
In the end, I guess it all falls on us. We have the power to make OUR story into a M&B book!